


Three Months

by Seventeen_Juice_Boxes



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Abuse, Alcohol, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blood, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, I think that’s it, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Lemme know if I missed anything, M/M, Marijuana, Mentions of Sex, Past Abuse, Rape Recovery, Rape/Non-con Elements, Sad Logan, Sad Virgil, color symbolism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-28
Updated: 2019-04-28
Packaged: 2020-02-08 17:23:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,623
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18627802
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Seventeen_Juice_Boxes/pseuds/Seventeen_Juice_Boxes
Summary: In a world where you can only see color when you touch your soulmate, Logan has only ever seen the world in shades of grey. He is fine with this. Virgil has only ever associated color with pain and heartbreak. He is fine with this.The two meet each other when they need it most. And slowly but surely, little by little, those blues and purples start to slip back into their lives.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! First of all, don’t tell at me about the unfinished Fallout fanfic. I know. Believe me. I know. And second of all, I just really wanted to write some Sanders Sides! So please enjoy, leave a comment, leave some kudos, maybe some friendly advice? Anyways, enjoy!

From a very young age, perhaps 5, Logan considered himself to be the smartest person in the room. By the time he was 12, he was usually right. By the time he was 17, he was always right. He found school tedious, boring, unchallenging, and painful.   
When he was 19, he found that things were much better in college. There, at least he had a little more privacy. He found topics that challenged him, he found ideas he wanted to explore, he found people that matched his enthusiasm for patterns and knowledge.   
It was in college that Logan eventually gave up on this whole soulmate business. When he was younger, perhaps he had wondered what blue looked like, but now, he decided he would never see it. He decided it was better that way. Logan was cold, analytical, smart, calculated, robotic. A soulmate, the concept of love, of passion, simply didn’t resonate with him. No, that business was best left to Patton.  
Patton was a friend of Logan’s, but the two could not be more different. A right brain/left brain sort or pair. Patton was emotional, sensitive, trusting, and at times, completely clueless. Nevertheless, the two worked. It was Patton’s soulmate that Logan took issue with.  
Roman. Logan was happy for Patton, of course, but Roman. A drama queen, flamboyant, extravagant, loud, boisterous, a starry-eyed romantic. He could not grasp Logan’s disillusionment with soulmates. He pestered him constantly, tried to convince him, to crack through his “icy heart,” as he phrased it.  
No, Logan did not care for Roman. Roman could not see that Logan was unlovable. He could not see that a man like him was destined for a world of grey numbers. He would die alone, a Nobel prize by his side, with any luck. Many folks never meet their soulmates, and they live fine. Logan was content with that.  
Until, as fate would have it, enter Virgil: stage left.   
Virgil is a complicated sort of fellow. He wasn’t always...the way he is now. Let me explain. Virgil was 16 when he met his soulmate, Ethan. Colors exploded. He was in the commons, and suddenly there were greens and blacks and blues and yellows and purples, god, purples! Virgil could live in that moment.  
Ethan was sharp, to the point. He was clever, and he was great at getting whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted it. Virgil never stood a chance.  
Ethan wasn’t a believer in the word “no.” If he wanted it, he got it. At first, it was easy with Virgil. Ignored at home, lonely, and desperate for love. Ethan showered him with that love. A year in, however, Virgil started saying no. Speaking his mind, letting his thoughts be heard. Ethan wasn’t about to let that happen.   
It started with a picture frame. A painting, a gift from the landlord. It sailed past Virgil’s head. There was a lot of crying and apologies and soon-to-be-broken promises that came after. And then there was the vase. And then the stapler, and then the pan, and then the fist. And then feet and nails and teeth and raised voices and hiding in the bathroom while Ethan pounded on the door before breaking it down and pinning Virgil to the tile and showing him his place.  
Virgil stopped saying no.  
Virgil stopped saying no until the color started fading from his eyes. The purple of his too-big hoodie was too faint. The handprints on his hips were less visible. The blue of the sky was duller and the green of the grass was lifeless. It was two weeks before it faded away completely. Ethan could still see those bruises perfectly.  
In a rare moment of courage among the anxiety that now plagued Virgil, he told Ethan that he no longer knew which toothbrush was his. God, there was so much blood. Maybe the bathroom wasn’t the best place to have this conversation.   
Virgil found himself on the street. He was lost, blind, and bleeding. He made it to the park down the street before he collapsed under a willow tree.  
Logan was well used to Roman’s antics, but bursting into his dorm room at 3 AM with a bleeding man was a tad unusual, even for him. Logan was a medical student and he patched up the unconscious man’s, apparently Roman had found him in the park whilst “exploring,” wounds. He’d been cut with something. Glass maybe? Logan wasn’t sure.  
Roman was frantic, and perhaps, just a little, Logan did like Roman. When he had managed to stop the bleeding, they propped the man up in Logan’s bed. Roman left soon after, making Logan promise to call him with any updates.   
It was four hours before the man awoke.  
He seemed confused, calling for an “Ethan.” He was dazed, and Logan explained best he could that he had been found in a park by a friend of his, badly hurt. He apologized. Logan found this strange.  
“For what?”  
“For like, having to waste all this shit on me. Bandages or whatever.”  
“Sir-“  
“Virgil.”  
“Virgil, you were bleeding out. Of course I was going to help you.” He smiled softly at the other man, a rare expression of emotion from Logan. “I’m Logan, by the way.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this one’s a little shorter, I just felt it needed to stand on its own!

It was three months before Virgil would tell Logan what happened. He got along with Roman and Patton well enough, but something kept him distant from Logan. Not that Logan was hurt, he knew he was unlikable. He had been told so all his life, and the evidence was irrefutable.  
Virgil was at Logan’s place. He was slightly drunk, crashing after a party. When Logan inquired why he had not stayed at Roman’s, he muttered something about “princey’s loud, thin walls y’know.” While not an expert on the subject, Logan knew enough to infer the other man’s meaning.  
Logan continued to work as Virgil lie on his bed, before the other man decided it was conversation time.  
“It’s weird, Patton and Roman.”  
“Pardon?” Logan asked, unsure of the man’s meaning.  
“Like, they love each other. That’s crazy.”  
“Of course they do, they are soulmates after all.”  
Virgil flinched. A subtle movement, but not one that went unnoticed by Logan. He raised a questioning eyebrow, though Virgil could not see his face. “Yeah, I guess. Soulmates. What a bunch of bullshit.”  
“You know Virgil, many people don’t meet their soulmates until very late in life. Just because you haven’t yet doesn’t mean the topic is worth dismissing entir-“  
“I met mine.”  
Logan looked at the man, confused. “Did she pass away?”  
Virgil snorted at that. “He. And if only. Nah, he just raped and abused me for 4 years.”  
Logan was stunned. What does one say when confronted with that? Logan was never a very good comforter. “Virgil I-“  
“Don’t bother. I hear it enough from Roman. I shouldn’t have drank so much. Now I’m telling you all this shit.”  
“I didn’t mean to intrude Virgil. Can I ask, though, was he the one who-“  
“Cut me up? Yeah. He found out I was colorblind again. Fucking lost it on me. Broke the damn mirror and just started slicing. Wish he’d finished the job, some days. Less trouble for you all.”  
There was a clatter as Logan stood from his chair, toppling it. Virgil say up, startled. “Falsehood. Virgil. I care for you a-a great deal. You are an improvement to anyone who meets you. You are better off alive, I am better off with you alive.”  
“Jeez specs, it was only a joke.”  
“I don’t care. Don’t make it again.  
“...Yeah, okay.”  
“Appreciated.”  
Virgil stared at him for a long moment. He seemed to be considering something. He opened his mouth and closed it a few times before coming to a decision. “Logan, if I asked you to-“ He cut himself off. “Nevermind, it’s stupid. Goodnight.” And he was gone before Logan would stop him.  
It was another three months before Virgil told him about Ethan. This time, the pair was on the roof. They had grown closer in those three months, but Virgil was still scared. Tentative, almost afraid, around Logan. While he allowed Roman to pick him up in a crushing bear hug, even a simple brush from Logan caused the man to flinch. Logan learned not to touch him.  
Virgil was sitting on the edge of the roof, feet dangling. Logan say a little ways back, watching him carefully. Virgil took a deep breath, as if debating on saying something.  
“Y’know, I like you Logan.”  
Already, Logan was surprised. No one liked him. Roman and Patton only tolerated him because he was nice to them. He liked them well enough, but no one liked him. He was useful. Expendable. “I-You do?”  
“Yeah. A lot. Specially these last few months. It’s just-“  
Ah, here it comes. The “but.” Some fatal flaw that Logan exhibited, something that would end this friendship, something else that made him unlikable.  
“You remind me of him.”  
Oh. Not what Logan was expecting. He hated being wrong. And he didn’t like Virgil’s line of thinking. He was a tad offended when he opened his mouth next. “Excuse me?”  
“Not-not towards the end. But, at first. He was so smart and collected. Calm and calculated. Knew all this stuff about philosophy and shit. He was so clever and cunning, knew how to get whatever he wanted.”  
“Virgil you know that I would never-“  
“I know, pocket protector, I know. It’s irrational. You’re nothing like him. You just-I don’t know. The thought scares me sometimes.”  
“Is that why I can’t touch you?”  
“I never said you couldn’t.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and comments a happy author makes! :)


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last one! I’m really proud of this ending, so please, please, enjoy!

Three more months, and Virgil told Logan about the first night. The first time that things got bad. This time, the pair were laying on Logan’s bed. Virgil was high, but only a little, the effects starting to wear off. It helped with his anxiety.   
Virgil rolled over to look at the bespeckled man, humming thoughtfully.  
“Yes Virgil?” Logan asked, intrigued by his behavior.  
“I wanted to apologize, for awhile back. Comparing you to him. You’re nothing like him.” In all honesty, Logan had almost forgotten their rooftop conversation. Nevertheless, he was no more offended by the comparison now than he was then.  
“I know that Virgil. You’ve nothing to apologize for.”  
Virgil stared at him for a long moment. “I’ve been so lonely, you know.”  
“You have me, and Patton, and Roman, and even Thomas seems to like you. I’m sorry if we do not satisfy you.”  
“Not that kind of lonely, specs.” Logan blinked, surprised by the other man’s confession. He blushes faintly, stuttering.  
“I-I see.”  
Virgil hummed, placing a hand on Logan’s chest. “You could satisfy me, Logan.”  
“Virgil I-“  
“C’mon, like you haven’t wanted to ever since I showed up at your dorm, your own personal damsel in distress.”  
“Virgil no, you’re high, I don’t-“  
“I’ll do anything you want, Logan, I’m easy.” Logan sat up, pushing Virgil’s hand from his chest. He moved away from the man, holding a hand out to stop his advances.  
“The answer is no, Virgil.”  
Whatever response he had expected from Virgil, it wasn’t for the man to burst into tears. “Virg-“  
“Please!” The man sobbed. “Please Logan just fuck me!” He clambered onto Logan’s lap, holding his wrists against the pillows in an almost pathetically weak grip. Logan was not afraid, how could he be?  
“Please just fuck me. I don’t want to feel anything anymore Logan. Just make him go away. Just fuck me and make him go away.” Eventually, his pleading dissolved completely into sobs, and then man released Logan and collapsed against his chest, sobbing into his shoulders. He cried for hours. Logan just rubbed his back, whispered soft affirmations to the man.  
It was only when he finally stopped crying that Virgil let himself speak.  
“He really was nice, at first. Gave me everything I wanted. Made me feel safe. It was only when I got ideas above my station that things got bad. He would yell, and throw things. And then he started hitting me. Slaps at first, then kicking and punching. Then scratching and biting. One night, we had this fight. I told him I was gonna leave and he grabbed a kitchen knife. I ran into the bathroom and locked the door. He broke it down. He pinned me to the ground and held a knife to me throat and-“ Virgil sobbed softly into Logan’s shoulder, his breathing shaky. “He, oh god, Logan, he-“  
“It’s okay, Virgil. I understand. It wasn’t your fault.”  
A weak laugh, but a real one. A rare sound.   
“Heh, thanks specs.”  
It took a final three months for the other shoe to drop. The two were at the botanical gardens. Virgil, as introverted as he was, loved the outdoors, and Logan, well, he loved making Virgil happy.  
Virgil stood beneath a cherry blossom tree, Logan staring at him from across the path, pretending to observe a dark grey flower. Logan has always wondered about the color of cherry blossom trees. Virgil said they used to be pink, whatever that meant.  
It was in this moment that Logan evaluated his feelings for Virgil. Feelings, imagine that. Perhaps soulmates were, as Virgil put it, bullshit. Just not in the way he’d seen it. Logan thought emotions made him weak. That he was unlovable, that he would die surrounded by his research. That soulmates would only drag him down.  
But perhaps that wasn’t the problem. Perhaps the problem was that sometimes, fate got it wrong. Because when he imagined the future, all he saw was Virgil’s smiling face. There was no doubt, Virgil was his soulmate, fate be damned.  
It was also in the moment that Virgil took a moment to evaluate his feelings for Logan. He though, when things ended with Ethan, that he was damaged goods. That soulmates would only hurt you. That no good could come from that burst of color.  
He recalled a moment, three months prior, waking up on Logan’s chest, blue tie stained with tears. Blue. Blue tie. Logan’s tie. Blue. Color. His shirt. Black. The walls, grey, the sky, blue, the grass, green, his shirt, purple. Color. And strangely. It didn’t scare him like he thought it would. Even if it wasn’t mutual, he wasn’t scared. The colors were still just as beautiful as Virgil remembered.  
He wondered briefly if Logan would even see him as a soulmate. Perhaps not, perhaps only platonically, perhaps romantically. It didn’t really matter. Love is not so finite as to be defined by either romantic and platonic, nor is so restrictive that only equal amounts of it are valuable.  
Logan stood, approaching the man beneath the tree. “We should be going, Virgil.”  
“Yes, we should.” He extended his hand for Logan to guide him out, a thoughtless gesture, one he had done a thousand times over. Logan took it.  
Pink. Virgil’s works had not done the color justice. It was like love, like clouds, like the color that Logan feels when he sees him, like the first blooms of springs, like an invitation to a little girl’s party. It was beautiful.  
“Logan? Hello?”  
Lips. Logan’s lips. On Virgil’s. He didn’t hesitate. He kissed him back, as pink blossoms fell from the tree, covering them in a moment well deserved. A moment the two had been working towards their entire life. Logan had been given hate and contempt his whole life. Virgil has been given loneliness and abuse his whole life. But in this one moment, beneath the cherry blossom tree, their lips pressed together in a symphony of blue and purple and pink and black.  
The universe gave them kindness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and comments a happy author makes! :) Thanks for reading!

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and comments a happy writer makes! :)


End file.
